CLAP AND CHEER LAW
May and June are months of special celebrations (Mother's
and Father's Days), graduations, weddings, anniversaries, recitals and
end-of-term events. They cause us to pause and reflect on the common tie of
most of these events (or certainly the promise of them): the dear children in
our lives.
Here is a piece that reflects on our special role as
shapers of confidence and character in our children and grandchildren,
sometimes in the midst of the most ordinary of events. And for those of you who are on the hunt for
leaders for tasks large and small, one’s clear understanding of this special
role is a pretty good predictor of true leadership, by my lights.
So here goes.
Every person who has had the joy of raising children
knows the experience in which your young child may not be on the front row of
the event. However talented your child
may be, there are going to be some activities in which they are not the
star. For parents, your child's role is
always the best role of all, no matter how seemingly minor it may seem, at
least for the most affirming parents among us (which hints to us at least part
of the answer.)
When our daughter was a little girl, she took dance
lessons at our community's favorite dance studio. She was tall for her age, like all the Wells
girls, and she generally started the three minute recital dance routine on the
back row. But the teacher knew her
audience well, so at the ninety second mark, the last became first and the
first became last, as if to fulfill the ancient directive from the Good
Book. Our sweet Laura (now the mother of
her own sweet girls) was, of course, the star of the show when she circled
around to the front and danced her heart out.
(And the best picture on my desk at work to this day is the small
picture of her bright smile on the day of one of her May recitals.)
But school plays do not always practice equal employment
opportunities. Some children sing solos,
and the rest are part of the accompanying chorus. And some may not even make it
to the chorus.
We all want our children to be successful, but they are
going to have at least their share of performances in venues that do not play
particularly to their strengths. So what
do we do with this, one of life's inevitable events?
One of life's greatest lessons is that we are all a
combination of strengths and, shall we say kindly, lesser talents. Some among us have lots of talents, but the
most fortunate one among us is the one who finds a solid traveling companion in
their set of skills for their journey.
In the end, the best among us are not always the most talented overall,
but the ones who find one of life's most valuable sight lines: how do you feel
about yourself?
To see this true test clearly, however, you have to feel
valued by others who have shaped your life along the way, whatever your role,
when you do your best.
Years ago a young girl had a teacher who saw her most
important teacher role clearly when the teacher handed out assignments for the
school performance. The young girl came
home from school to tell her mom about the upcoming event. The daughter named
over which child would play what roles.
When her mom asked her daughter what role she would play, she said
brightly and enthusiastically: "I've been chosen to clap and cheer!"
What I’ve learned about Life on the Way to the Courthouse
is this: life has a lot of "clap
and cheer" moments that generally play to our level of talents for the
task at hand. We cannot all be from Lake
Wobegon and be above average in everything.
But you should make your children feel valued and important, until they
grow to a level of maturity in life when they understand they will not be
judged in life by how many "clap and cheer" assignments they had
along the way. The trick in life is to feel good about yourself. You give this to your child and you have
given them life's greatest treasure. And
something very real to clap and cheer about, for sure.
