Here is a piece I recorded for North Carolina NPR News about dealing with the loss of a loved one, and the joy of the Holiday Season.
Weasel Law - North Carolina NPR News
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wake County grapples with school assignment plan - Winston-Salem Journal: Local News
Here is an interesting article about school assignment issues in Raleigh/Wake County
Wake County grapples with school assignment plan - Winston-Salem Journal: Local News
Wake County grapples with school assignment plan - Winston-Salem Journal: Local News
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Here is the latest What I've Learned About Life on the Way to the Courthouse piece of Mike Wells about Weasel Law, and the power of humor to help us deal with loss this Holiday Season.
Mike Wells practices in Winston-Salem.
POSTSCRIPT If you receive this e-mail
Mike Wells practices in Winston-Salem.
Weasel
Law – How Laughter Can Help Us Deal with Loss this Holiday Season
Our
children love to hear the weasel story. Mostly.
My
wife’s father (Papa) grew up in rural Virginia in the 1920s, and he went rabbit
hunting as a boy. One day he went to pick up the rabbit he had shot, and
an enterprising weasel, which saw opportunity with that felled rabbit, went
after the rabbit, too. The weasel bit Papa on the finger, drawing blood
and leaving a scar.
When
our three children were quite young they would ask their grandfather to tell
the weasel story. Papa would quickly oblige. Then they asked to see
the scar on his finger. Our children were intrigued by the adventure of it all,
but fearful of the dreaded weasel, too.
It
was much like Shakespeare’s verse about a lover’s pinch: It hurt, but it was
“much desired.”
This
wonderful weasel story has had a greater value over the years. My wife,
an only child, was devoted to her dad. Twelve years after his death, she
still mourns his loss. We all do. A conversation about her dad can
still cause a tear to be shed.
But
humor, brought out in old stories about what her dad did and what he said,
brings us in through the side door of the life of this wonderful man, and
avoids much of the sadness. We tell the old stories and laugh again, and
this special human being is closer to us for a while.
Years
ago a friend of mine told a story about his dad. His dad took him back to
the old farm where his dad had grown up. His dad excitedly jumped from
the car, and started spouting out information about the farm.
“Here
is where the old well house was”, “Here is where the tobacco barn was”, and on
and on. My friend, who was 12 years old at the time, said, “But Daddy,
those buildings are not here now. They’ve all been torn down.” His
father said, “Everything that matters is still here.”
When
a loved one is gone, I have found their stories help a family, just like the
weasel story helps our family. The family enters through the side door of
humor, and not the front door of grief, and we pay a visit to the part of that
loved one which is very near.
It
is as if the loved one is leading the family safely to the other side of
grief.
Humor
and these stories have great value in the Holiday Season, because the Holiday
Season is about remembering, going back to a less cluttered time. Our
mind’s eye strips away the memory of gifts and things, and focuses intently on
the ones we love—the true essence of the season. These stories, whether
they are of that season or not, season richly our memories of these dear ones
who came before us, and they keep us focused on the wonderful good of these
loved ones we have in our hearts.
In
this high season of our different faiths, these stories also help us to focus
on the things that unite us rather than divide us. Faith, hope, love, charity,
kindness, and goodness. Whatever our body of faith, we share this same,
sweet list. For a spell, our sight lines on the God of us all are closer.
And the heavens, and the smiles of our loved ones in heaven, shine a little
brighter.
What I’ve
learned about life on the way to the courthouse is this: Humor is a wonderful
gift. It gives us distance from grief and the loss of a loved one.
It helps us to the other side, especially in the Holiday Season, where the view
of life is more forgiving and kind. Even the fateful day the weasel bit
Papa.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Are your loved ones considering a reverse mortgage? Here are some well regarded consumer-oriented resources to help with that.
When should a senior citizen seek a reverse mortgage loan?
The access
to additional cash flow, or an adequate cash resource, can be a very good thing
for seniors who have income challenges.
But seniors and their advisors should exercise caution. These
transactions are not without challenges, according to a report by the Consumer
Financial Protection Bureau. This bureau
analyzed this product in detail as part of a Dodd-Frank financial reform act
requirement.
The number of American families who are accessing their home
equity is on the rise. Just in the last
three years years, the number of borrowers who took all or almost all of the
available equity cash in closings has gone up by thirty percent, and the
overall level is now almost three out of four homeowners.
According to the Bureau: “Taking out a reverse mortgage
early in retirement, or even before reaching retirement, increases risks to
consumers. By tapping their home equity
early, these borrowers may find themselves without the financial resources to
finance a future move—whether due to health or other reasons.”
The Bureau found that over nine percent (as of February,
2012) of the borrowers are at risk of foreclosure because they have not paid
their property taxes and insurance. Says
Richard Cordray, the Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau:
“With one in ten reverse mortgages already in default, it is important that
consumers understand that they are signing up for and that it is the right
product for them.”
So what should be the next steps to decide if this product
is right for a senior?
A good place to start is Financial Pathways of the Piedmont
(formerly Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Forsyth County), located at
8064 North Point, Winston Salem (336-896-1191; www.FinancialPathwaysofthePiedmont.org),
a well regarded United Way agency.
There is a great deal of very valuable information on
line. www.hud.gov
has a
good website with a series of frequently asked questions and answers on
most of the issues. The Federal Housing
Administration has a number of useful consumer fact sheets which can be
accessed at www.fha.gov, or by calling
-1-800-CALL-FHA.
The National Council on Aging has a great deal of useful
information available at their website at www.ncoa.org. They publish a useful piece it calls “Use
Your Home to Stay at Home. A Guide for Older Homeowners Who Need Help Now.”
Other useful websites can assist a prospective senior in
calculating how much money you may be able to borrow in a reverse mortgage
transaction: AARP calculator (http://rmc.ibisreverse.com//rmc_pages/rmc_aarp/aarp_index.aspx. The National Reverse Mortgage Lenders
Association has a calculator as well: (http://rmc.ibisreverse.com/default_nrmla.aspx).
A senior should meet with their financial advisor to
determine what their cash flow requirements are, and whether or not there are
other savings which seniors can secure to improve their cash flow. Once you determine any cash flow needs you have,
find out how much cash flow each month a reverse mortgage transaction is going
to provide to you. This information will help you make a much
better decision.
What you should not do is mortgage your property for a large
cash payout to loan or give to your children for their cash flow needs.
Finally, the North Carolina Commissioner of Banks has a
website where one can find the names and contact persons for reverse mortgage
lenders in North Carolina. (https://www.nccob.org/online/nmls/ReverseMortgageCertficates.aspx).
On balance, this kind of loan can be a very good thing for
seniors, but they should consider it only after consulting their trusted
advisors and gathering the necessary information.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
How to help with our school superintendent search
Attend one of the two remaining forums (and encourage others to attend!)
Thursday, Dec. 13 at 6:00 at East Forsyth High School
Tuesday, Jan 8 at 6:00 at Carver High School
Do your part on this very important community decision!
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