Mike Wells practices in Winston-Salem.
Weasel
Law – How Laughter Can Help Us Deal with Loss this Holiday Season
Our
children love to hear the weasel story. Mostly.
My
wife’s father (Papa) grew up in rural Virginia in the 1920s, and he went rabbit
hunting as a boy. One day he went to pick up the rabbit he had shot, and
an enterprising weasel, which saw opportunity with that felled rabbit, went
after the rabbit, too. The weasel bit Papa on the finger, drawing blood
and leaving a scar.
When
our three children were quite young they would ask their grandfather to tell
the weasel story. Papa would quickly oblige. Then they asked to see
the scar on his finger. Our children were intrigued by the adventure of it all,
but fearful of the dreaded weasel, too.
It
was much like Shakespeare’s verse about a lover’s pinch: It hurt, but it was
“much desired.”
This
wonderful weasel story has had a greater value over the years. My wife,
an only child, was devoted to her dad. Twelve years after his death, she
still mourns his loss. We all do. A conversation about her dad can
still cause a tear to be shed.
But
humor, brought out in old stories about what her dad did and what he said,
brings us in through the side door of the life of this wonderful man, and
avoids much of the sadness. We tell the old stories and laugh again, and
this special human being is closer to us for a while.
Years
ago a friend of mine told a story about his dad. His dad took him back to
the old farm where his dad had grown up. His dad excitedly jumped from
the car, and started spouting out information about the farm.
“Here
is where the old well house was”, “Here is where the tobacco barn was”, and on
and on. My friend, who was 12 years old at the time, said, “But Daddy,
those buildings are not here now. They’ve all been torn down.” His
father said, “Everything that matters is still here.”
When
a loved one is gone, I have found their stories help a family, just like the
weasel story helps our family. The family enters through the side door of
humor, and not the front door of grief, and we pay a visit to the part of that
loved one which is very near.
It
is as if the loved one is leading the family safely to the other side of
grief.
Humor
and these stories have great value in the Holiday Season, because the Holiday
Season is about remembering, going back to a less cluttered time. Our
mind’s eye strips away the memory of gifts and things, and focuses intently on
the ones we love—the true essence of the season. These stories, whether
they are of that season or not, season richly our memories of these dear ones
who came before us, and they keep us focused on the wonderful good of these
loved ones we have in our hearts.
In
this high season of our different faiths, these stories also help us to focus
on the things that unite us rather than divide us. Faith, hope, love, charity,
kindness, and goodness. Whatever our body of faith, we share this same,
sweet list. For a spell, our sight lines on the God of us all are closer.
And the heavens, and the smiles of our loved ones in heaven, shine a little
brighter.
What I’ve
learned about life on the way to the courthouse is this: Humor is a wonderful
gift. It gives us distance from grief and the loss of a loved one.
It helps us to the other side, especially in the Holiday Season, where the view
of life is more forgiving and kind. Even the fateful day the weasel bit
Papa.
No comments:
Post a Comment